Midlife!!!

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   I’m “44” yrs old and I’ve been doing some serious soul searching lately. Searching the depth of my being from as far back as I can remember up until today, “Sunday Sep. 27th”
   I’m in a place where I wouldn’t have particularly chosen for myself at this point in my life. I’m truly out of my comfort zone, but I know ultimately that I’m in a good place despite the discomforts.
   I have heard the saying: We must lose in order to win, and at “44” I have a better understanding of this statement than ever before. See, over the last decade I have lost more and more things, and most importantly, more and more of me; my will, my way, my prideful thiughts, as well as some people.
   As I sit here empty and isolated, I shout at the top of my voice: “THANK YOU JESUS”, because I have finally reached this place where He can do within me whatever it is that He need to do…

Midlife!!!

I am out of His way,
it’s only His voice that I’m seeking to obey.

For it is He who has kept me, it is He that has brought me through,
and from this point forward it is He that I will stick to like glue.

Casting away all division, confusion and strife,
It’s official, I’ve reached,

Midlife!!!

Shifted has been my paradigm,
I’m dancing to a new rhythm, a new wryme.

If I never get back all the things that I had,
I promise I won’t be mad.

If it’s not God’s will for me, I count it but dung,
it’s true, those things caused me to sing but it wasn’t a righteous song that I sung.

I’m not where I would like to be,
but I’m no longer deceived, I mean, I can clearly see,
mind, body, soul and spirit…I’m free.

Yes, things have been carved away from me, and it seem as though it was done with a butcher’s knife,
all for my good and God’s glory, and I realized this now at this place called,

Midlife!!!

Come Holy Spirit, We Need You

Dawn

Suddenly, all that I know is not enough. Every scripture, every revealed word from God, everything … means nothing in this moment. I do not have a sermon in me that can fix this. I do not have a revelation that can make this bad any better. I cannot save him. I’m desperate.

More than ever, I can see the deficiency in my walk with the Lord. There is no power. There is only words. Satan has come into my home and has stripped us of peace and joy. Now he is trying to destroy the hearts, the lives of my children. Why does he feel welcome? How is it that Satan can walk boldly across the threshold of my home? Why isn’t he trembling? Why doesn’t he fear the Christ he finds residing there?

Perhaps it’s all smoke and mirrors. Perhaps I have spent so much time reading the…

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