I’m “44” yrs old and I’ve been doing some serious soul searching lately. Searching the depth of my being from as far back as I can remember up until today, “Sunday Sep. 27th”
I’m in a place where I wouldn’t have particularly chosen for myself at this point in my life. I’m truly out of my comfort zone, but I know ultimately that I’m in a good place despite the discomforts.
I have heard the saying: We must lose in order to win, and at “44” I have a better understanding of this statement than ever before. See, over the last decade I have lost more and more things, and most importantly, more and more of me; my will, my way, my prideful thiughts, as well as some people.
As I sit here empty and isolated, I shout at the top of my voice: “THANK YOU JESUS”, because I have finally reached this place where He can do within me whatever it is that He need to do…
I am out of His way,
it’s only His voice that I’m seeking to obey.
For it is He who has kept me, it is He that has brought me through,
and from this point forward it is He that I will stick to like glue.
Casting away all division, confusion and strife,
It’s official, I’ve reached,
Shifted has been my paradigm,
I’m dancing to a new rhythm, a new wryme.
If I never get back all the things that I had,
I promise I won’t be mad.
If it’s not God’s will for me, I count it but dung,
it’s true, those things caused me to sing but it wasn’t a righteous song that I sung.
I’m not where I would like to be,
but I’m no longer deceived, I mean, I can clearly see,
mind, body, soul and spirit…I’m free.
Yes, things have been carved away from me, and it seem as though it was done with a butcher’s knife,
all for my good and God’s glory, and I realized this now at this place called,